Obama Chicago Celebration Hysteria. But Sadly, Grandmother Dies

President Barack Obama. Yep, I said it!
Millions of Americans have already cast their votes to elect either Barack Obama or John McCain the next U.S. president. Tomorrow, those of us who're stragglers -- procrastinors who'll vote on election day -- worry nationwide our votes won't count. The election machines are this. The paper ballots are that. Doesn't matter though: We're all showing up this time! Chads hanging, machines rigged, and all.

And while we get our vote on, both presidential candidates shockingly will still stomp the campaign stumps, intent on snagging every undecided voter crumb on the table. "They may not know it, but The Mack is back!," McCain warns. "We are one day away from changing America!," That One promises. Hard to believe, but by midnight tomorrow, the evil campaign ads will cease. Hey, somebody's going to Disney World! Time to Super Bowl Shuffle.

Meanwhile, nothing much going on here in Chicago... NOT. Mother-to-be Chicago? Her water has broken: The baby is COMING!!! And like proud Baby Daddys, we're all but passing out the cigars now... A huge patch of downtown Chicago already is closing to traffic for the Obama celebration. The international press have been in town for days. So have the Secret Service and an army of sniper guys charged with protecting the next president of the United States.

Mayor Daley and the City of Chicago have turned schizophrenic. First, it was EVERYONE COME ON DOWNTOWN FOR THE MEGA-CELEBRATION IN GRANT PARK! Then it was No, wait... DON'T come unless you have one of the special 70,000 Obama election night event tickets. Sorry, but we forgot we having the highest crime rate in America -- and with all the racial tension and black history that's being made, you people won't know how to act. Bang-bang.

Oh, this just in: We're all invited again. Chicago gonna' party like its 1999. But the rest of us can only gather around the far edges of the Obama mega dancefloor. 30,000 uninvited are expected to come. And the black market to buy those free tickets rages wild.

... No way. Stop the presses... NPR just reported that Barack's grandmother, Mrs. Madelyn Dunham, has died. R.I.P., Mrs. Dunham. Job extraordinarily well done.

There simply aren't words to express how staggering a day on Earth can be. Or how crazy this election cycle will continue to get. We're all sitting on the edge of our seat. But that bitch called life has us paying for the whole damn thing.

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Viqi French said...

Sounds like Chicago's going to be the center of the world's attention with an Obama win.

To your point, I hope that everyone stays safe during the victory party. These are scary time for him, for sure.

Greg F. said...

I'm not going anywhere near downtown. Best to watch it on TV.

Viqi French said...

I hear you, Greg. Regardless of how you witnessed it, you saw history made!

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